Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
