i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
