Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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