i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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