On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize