You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
being pregnant is like rehab
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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