3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
