my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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