Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
