she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize