I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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