do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Houston, we have a blender
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
