oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
