I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
