Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
