"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
