What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
