Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
