shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
