We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
