what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize