With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
