he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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