So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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