is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
