I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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