S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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