My nipple is on Facebook.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
