just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
