Tell her she can't have a vagina
Girls should come with a carfax report
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
