its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ugly people sure do ruin things
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
