dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize