people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
