I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we're making bets on your personal life
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
