If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize