My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
