I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
