I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
