apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
