And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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