Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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