Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am midnight drunk by noon
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
