You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
