I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
