I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
