i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
