So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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