Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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