ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
