Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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