So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
