Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he thought i was a dude.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
