Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
