he puts the penis in happiness.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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