I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Randomize
