they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
