Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
