well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
