update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
