This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
