Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
