Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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