He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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