I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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